what am I doing here drinking all this beer
there must have been something else I had in mind
once upon a time
I know I had such dreams, boy
but look at me now

Plan A is gone and Plan B too
Plan C has chased off D and E
Woe is me 
Don't even ask about F or G
such a tragedy

Every day is like a spent check even the IRS won't buy
Now every hair down the drain is a plug that I'll have to get 
when I retire to the Everglades 

Saw my old friends driving Benz
Got their lives together like a Jigsaw Puzzle
what a head buzzle
But I got a muzzle on my dreams, boy
what can I do

Got my heart in a headlock
been piledrived down main street
won't be able to use my camel clutch
to tag-team my way clear
someone throw me a folding chair
and I'll await the decision of the ref