Exercising the wet option: Liquid Cereal

Posted:

BevNet reviews:

«Peanut Butter Liquid Cereal is one of the only (if not the only) peanut butter flavored beverage we’ve sampled. This uniquely-flavored dairy-based beverage not only has a peanut butter flavor, but it also has the “cereal blend” that gives Liquid Cereal its name. This, combined with the beverage’s slightly thick consistency, does make you feel as though you are consuming a mixture of cereal and milk. Put all this together and you have something that, although lightly sweet in comparison, is definitely remniscent of a children’s breakfast cereal. Definitely worth a try.»

From the what were they thinking? department comes this wholly unasked for breakfast treat: liquid cereal. Traditional cereal already comprises slurries like oatmeal and cold soups like cereal and milk. Did we as a species really need to push the envelope of amorphous food to this degree? I suspose if NASA had developed it for astronauts, I wouldn’t be complaining so vehemently. Or maybe I would. This stuff sounds pretty nasty.

Even as a big booster of peanut butter, I can’t recommend it as the foundation for a refreshing beverage. Are people even eating a lot of peanut butter in general for breakfast? This is a new tread that I’ve been entirely uninformed about.

I urge the makers of this product to bring their culinary genius to other meals of the day. Here are some suggestions:

  • ichorous lunch: peanut butter and jelly
  • viscous snack: crushed jellybeans
  • liquescent tea: sugar biscuits and jam
  • brunch slurry: onion bagel with lox
  • fluid grub: nachos supreme
  • watery dinner: severely mashed potatoes
  • runny repast: fish sticks with tartar sauce
  • molten mess: spicy chipped beef, corn and toast
  • jiggly din din: chicken kiev with asperagus
  • pulpy picnic: pepperoni cheesesteak manwich with chili fries

No, really. There’s no need to thank me.