More dating anti-patterns

Posted:

Frequently, I find that my funny bone is at odds with my libido. This goes a long way to explaining the rather extended stretch of “singlehood” I’ve endured. Still, you have to prioritize in life. If I have to choose between having my cake and eating it too, I’ll opt for smushing someone’s face into the pastry.

That also may account for the bachelorhood thing.

What follows is a message I sent to the owner of the above picture, who chose this to the first image potential suitors would see of her.

Subject: Congratulations!

Body:

Howdy,

Of all the pictures I’ve seen in personal ads across many web sites, yours wins the impressive distinction of best picture posed with the deadliest live animal.

I, as a former cat owner, would be suspicious of the rather meager chain restraining that tiger. It does appear that you found the good side of his nature though.

One other dubious point of commonality between us is a fondness for board games. Through very little fault of my own, I cohosted a show on Somerville cable access about non-electronic games called The Gameshelf. There’s a whole world of new games out there beyond the classics of monopoly, risk, chess, and scrabble.

In any case, take care.

—Joe

In so many ways, I’m really, really awesome. And yet, in exactly the same ways, I’m an idiot too.