“Weird Al” Yankovic is the most misunderstood music critic in America. I think
it’s the “weird” in his name that throws people off. Maybe his addiction polka.
Maybe it’s the crinkle-curl hair. Whatever the cause, it’s a shame because
Al’s Angry White Boy
Polka succinctly details exactly what’s ineffably awful about Nu-Metal.
As a genre, Nu-Metal was born in the dying embers of both Grunge rock and
“Big Hair” rock (clearly a May-December relationship if there ever was one).
A good Nu-Metal band is Helmet (although I’m not a fan, I can tell those guys
can rock). The rot set in when Nu-Metal became a corporate commodity and
stupid white boys thought that they could rap over wailing distorted guitars.
I’m not sure that’s how Affirmative Action is supposed to work.
From the mid-nineties on, the Suck knob on Nu-Metal continued to get cranked
higher and higher until, well, even Weird Al noticed. In 2004’s Poodle
Hat, Yankovic went back to his roots with “Angry White Boy Polka.” Unlike
the polka tune on his first album which seemed to celebrate “classic rock,”
I get the feeling Al is making a point of showing off the cyclopean banality
of the lyrics that populate the most commercially successful examples of
Nu-Metal. “Preachy” doesn’t really seem to cover for these whiny punks, but
judge for yourself. After listening to a few of these tunes, I get the feeling
that covering Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” in this style would be a mega-hit.
I have created a table that lists the source material used in Weird Al’s
parody. Old folks like me will certainly have avoided most of these
excremental twits, but now, no matter your age, you can confidently say, “Staind?
Those Nu-Metal guys suck!”
Nu-Metal: a musical STD of nineties.
|PAPA ROACH||Last Resort||INFESTED||Sample|
|SYSTEM OF A DOWN||Chop Suey||TOXICITY||Sample|
|THE VINES||Get Free||HIGHLY EVOLVED||Sample|
|THE HIVES||Hate to say I told you so||VENI VIDI VICIOUS||Sample|
|WHITE STRIPES||Fell in Love with A Girl||WHITE BLOOD CELLS||Sample|
|THE STROKES||Last Night||IS THIS IT?||Sample|
|DISTURBED||Down with the sickness||THE SICKNESS||Sample|
|RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE||Renegades of Funk||RENEGADES||Sample|
|LIMP BIZKIT||My Way||CHOCOLATE STARFISH AND THE HOT DOG FLAVORED WATER||Sample|
|STAIND||Outside||BREAK THE CYCLE||Sample|
|KID ROCK||Bawitdaba||DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE||Sample|
|P.O.D||Youth of the Nation||SATELLITE||Sample|
|EMINEM||The Real Slim Shady||THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP||Sample|