E-toilet - ripped from the pages of the The Onion

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For the love of Job, people!
The Onion is not to be used as a source of product ideas. This just in from NW Florida Daily News:

«But computers are now invading the bathroom. For several years, manufacturers have been quietly pushing toilets and toilet seats costing $1,000 or more that use small, built-in computers and remote controls to add new features that warm, wash and dry you. As bathrooms become more upscale and luxurious, a digital toilet fits right in.»

Ladies and gentleman, we have an e-toilet now.

Compare with this vintage The Onion article from the height of the DotCom era:

«”Of course, rudimentary pee-commerce has been around almost as long as the Internet itself,” Scoscia said, “but our new e-toilet will bring the Internet into the next millennium with real-time point, click and shit capability.” Scoscia noted that “Number 2.0,” as Silicon Valley insiders have dubbed it, will be cross-platform compatible and fully 2K Flushes compliant. In addition, he said, it will feature significantly wider, more comfortable bandwidth to accommodate even the most massive user download. »

Attention American innovators: before moving ahead with your product plans, take a moment to remove your head from your buttocks to make sure your idea isn’t, well, asisine. And the same goes for politicians.

Thank you.